"Stand and Feel Your Worth" - Thrice
This moment, I am in finance class. The same one I have bitched about in previews posts. We are reviewing our first midterm test scores. My two classmates, both amicable colleagues in this and other classes of mine this semester are groaning about their results. They are finance majors and have received scores in the mid-sixties. I, an entrepreneurship major, receieved an 89. I would lie if I didn't feel the least bit gratified, maybe that's my competitive nature.
But I don't need to say anything, my score has. I have said nothing while they mutter their self-directed frustration as I remember some comments they've made about their confidence in my ability to lead our group assignment in this class this semester. I do not boast. When I see the look of dejection in their faces, it is a look that I recognize wearing a few times throughout my college career.
In this moment, I realize that humble pie is derives, and is derived from humility. Those that are served choke down its bitter taste. Those that serve it must show humility, or else be selected for a helping later down the road.
As I reflect the servings of humble pie that I have injested over the last few weeks, I realize that humility is hardly a derivative of words but rather of actions. Some of you know that I have an entrepreneurial idea that is beginning to turn into a fairly exciting venture. What started as an idea while selling credit card protection products over the phone in July of 2008, was barely validated by an early investor in overstock.com to be (potentially, if I don't screw it up) a multi-million dollar company, maybe a viable competitor to major players in the national market. I am humbled. Entrepreneurship is a team sport, I am only here at this level because the people on my team are constantly raising the bar for themselves and expecting as much from me. I actually hesitate to tell others what I am attempting to do. I am not funded. I don't have an operational model. I am not incorporated. But I have people who are cheering me on. Evangelizing my idea, my aspirations and my direction. I am humbled.
I have learned the lack of respect that people will show you when you are all talk and no show. Conversely, I have begun to see the regard that people hold you in when you say little, do much, then say even less. But I am human and though I wish to continue that behaviorial trend, I will fail. Good thing God gives us grace as a model as to what we should show to others. For though I am initially tempted to rub my classmates' faces in the dirt, I have actually offered my consolation and aid for future tests. For the high road is its own reward: you can walk on solid ground without feeling contaminated by selfishness.
So my challenge is this: Stand and Feel Your Worth. Feel it through the actions you bathe in excellence. Feel it in the admiration, if properly earned, that others show you. Feel it in yourself when you rest on quiet confidence, emphasis on quiet.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Dying
Today, I met a 22 year old who died three times about a month ago.
That's right: DIED THREE TIMES.
He told me how he got sick with what he thought was the flu about 6 weeks ago and it worsened to the point that he couldn't lift his head. Turned out his heart, his kidneys, and his liver were all failing simultaneously. He was life-flighted from his home in Jackson Hole, Wy to the University Hospital ICU. This kid is a healthy 22-yr-old with no history of medical problems personally or in his family. Over the course of 3 days his heart flatlined for about 5-7 minutes on three different occasions. He was not expected to last through night many times during the week he was in ICU.
I asked him what dying was like and he described, in vivid detail his experience of coming out of a dark forest to an open field of wheat and the warmth and peace. He also went on to say that each death-experience ended with loud thud noises which was actually his heart beginning to pump again, then waking up with a team of doctors presiding over him in their attempts to resuscitate him. He remembers that he clearly knew he was dying each time.
To make a long story short, he recovered in 2 and a half weeks with absolutely no scarring on his heart- a medical miracle. Here is a paraphrase of his perspective during the whole deal:
"After I died the first time, I really prayed to God about his will for my life and if my death at the age of 22 would really be something for his glory. I never heard an audible voice, but I had the confidence, despite how bleak my situation was, that now was not the time for me to go. Even though I died two more times after, I felt that God had something else that he wanted me to do. From that point on I was determined to get out of that hospital in two and a half weeks. After a week, my tests came back good enough that I could be moved out of ICU. The results continued to improve, and 2 weeks and 2 days after I was admitted, I was released and walking on my own."
He is not allowed to leave Utah because he needs to be under careful monitoring and there are not enough good hospitals in his hometown. The following though is what really impacted me:
"I was truly ok with dying, after experiencing what life after death has to offer, I look forward to the day that I die and NOT come back. But it's that experience that truly allows me to live. It's not until you lose your life do you really gain it."
Everything that I thought was a big deal in my life when I walked into that meeting tonight went out the window. I was speechless, which you all know is impossible. This guy was so positive, had a get-it-done attitude and was not ashamed to enlist his unsolicited faith in God.
I was given a reality check from someone who has lived only as long as I have: that all of us are subject to mortality. He also taught me that we all have a choice in how we face that mortality (sometimes more than once). That we can choose to accept what we can't change about dying and that sometimes the attitude in which we walk through the valley of death is often the difference that helps us come out alive.
Challenge: Lose your life. Honestly imagine what would happen if you suddenly were removed from this earth. Gone without warning. No chance to prepare your will, or say your goodbyes. As you think about it, do you find that you are satisfied with the way you lived your life? Or do you still have more living to do? Like most of us, if you answered the second question, you still have things that you want to satisfy. Satisfy them, but remember: you can't take anything with you. All you have is your name and how you will be remembered by the people that were in your life. Do wish that you would have done more for them? Then go do it. Do you wish that they would really know how you feel about them? Then go tell them. Don't compromise, don't take shortcuts. Live every moment of your life in personal excellence, because you never know which one will be your last.
That's right: DIED THREE TIMES.
He told me how he got sick with what he thought was the flu about 6 weeks ago and it worsened to the point that he couldn't lift his head. Turned out his heart, his kidneys, and his liver were all failing simultaneously. He was life-flighted from his home in Jackson Hole, Wy to the University Hospital ICU. This kid is a healthy 22-yr-old with no history of medical problems personally or in his family. Over the course of 3 days his heart flatlined for about 5-7 minutes on three different occasions. He was not expected to last through night many times during the week he was in ICU.
I asked him what dying was like and he described, in vivid detail his experience of coming out of a dark forest to an open field of wheat and the warmth and peace. He also went on to say that each death-experience ended with loud thud noises which was actually his heart beginning to pump again, then waking up with a team of doctors presiding over him in their attempts to resuscitate him. He remembers that he clearly knew he was dying each time.
To make a long story short, he recovered in 2 and a half weeks with absolutely no scarring on his heart- a medical miracle. Here is a paraphrase of his perspective during the whole deal:
"After I died the first time, I really prayed to God about his will for my life and if my death at the age of 22 would really be something for his glory. I never heard an audible voice, but I had the confidence, despite how bleak my situation was, that now was not the time for me to go. Even though I died two more times after, I felt that God had something else that he wanted me to do. From that point on I was determined to get out of that hospital in two and a half weeks. After a week, my tests came back good enough that I could be moved out of ICU. The results continued to improve, and 2 weeks and 2 days after I was admitted, I was released and walking on my own."
He is not allowed to leave Utah because he needs to be under careful monitoring and there are not enough good hospitals in his hometown. The following though is what really impacted me:
"I was truly ok with dying, after experiencing what life after death has to offer, I look forward to the day that I die and NOT come back. But it's that experience that truly allows me to live. It's not until you lose your life do you really gain it."
Everything that I thought was a big deal in my life when I walked into that meeting tonight went out the window. I was speechless, which you all know is impossible. This guy was so positive, had a get-it-done attitude and was not ashamed to enlist his unsolicited faith in God.
I was given a reality check from someone who has lived only as long as I have: that all of us are subject to mortality. He also taught me that we all have a choice in how we face that mortality (sometimes more than once). That we can choose to accept what we can't change about dying and that sometimes the attitude in which we walk through the valley of death is often the difference that helps us come out alive.
Challenge: Lose your life. Honestly imagine what would happen if you suddenly were removed from this earth. Gone without warning. No chance to prepare your will, or say your goodbyes. As you think about it, do you find that you are satisfied with the way you lived your life? Or do you still have more living to do? Like most of us, if you answered the second question, you still have things that you want to satisfy. Satisfy them, but remember: you can't take anything with you. All you have is your name and how you will be remembered by the people that were in your life. Do wish that you would have done more for them? Then go do it. Do you wish that they would really know how you feel about them? Then go tell them. Don't compromise, don't take shortcuts. Live every moment of your life in personal excellence, because you never know which one will be your last.
Perspective
I love experential knowledge.
Learning something through an experience is an experience in itself, often because we didn't expect to learn anything as the events started to unfold. Sometimes, this learning, at an even more basic is really the just the identification of something we didn't know was there before.
The thing about experience is that it takes your preconcieved notions about anything and changes the angle by which you view it. Sometimes that means just being closer to that object or notion. I think that often we think of a change of perspective as a matter of degrees but I have found that the world, your thoughts, your biases shift significantly when you get closer to something. The details of an ideal become more visible, as if you placed an HD lens over your perspective. You notice that it's not glossy, but rough and textured. Even more importantly, you realize that it's not as solid as you once thought in your former persective, but something that can be prodded, poked, and probed.. even molded; like slightly moist clay that you need to exert significant pressure to alter. You take a moment to reassess your surroundings, gauge your reaction, then reconcile them to previous thoughts and assumptions, then move on a slightly different person.
I have many ideals that have changed the closer that I moved to them. One moment you are at a seemingly significant distance from a lifestyle (group of actions, behaviors, thoughts, value system, consequences, etc), then a conversation throws you into the center of it. Now you are experiencing it from the inside looking out. Whereas you were previously looking at it from the outside at what you thought was an solid, opaque shell; you are realizing that your assumption was wrong: it's a permeable membrane that where you can move freely.
As I get further along in my college career, I also get closer to the "real world." My chosen profession is 'change agent', the world calls it entrepreneurship. I want my job to be invovled in start-ups. To many, this lends a sense of arrogance. I know because I felt the same way last year, when I was on the outside, looking at what were my (erroneous) assumptions about the entrepreneurship lifestyle. But I have been allowed to continue getting closer, and it's not some sugar-coated shell of wealth and adventure. Sure there's adventure, but there's massive sacrifice. I have learned about personal burn rate. That there is no trade-off, no tit-for-tat on focussing on one area of your life at the expense of another. In order to do this you have to change your perspective. Because of my passion for making awesome ideas a reality, I can align my personal life (what's that?) with my "work life".
To drive the point further, I am realizing that being an entrepreneur is an "all the time thing, not a some of the time thing". For those of us who played sports and excelled at them, we know that phrase is often Vince Lombardi's mantra on winning. Excellence, a critical component of anything that amounts to anything you do in life (should you so chose), is a state of being not something you turn on and off at will. So I have found a way to make my passion be the solvent and dropped the things in my life I thought I could compartmentalize to be dissolved into a whole new solution, spinning in the beaker of my life.
For years, up until a few weeks ago, I had no idea that I would have learned the things I just described, mainly because I didn't know they existed -that they were constant elements you had to accept as you walked through that membrane. Does it sound harsh? Well it depends on your perspective... The same company looks very different if you are viewing it through a corporate or entrepreneurial lens. Even more so depending where that particular lens is positioned.
But then again so is life. I once read that you actually train yourself to be a fatalist or opportunist. Even more interesting is that you can, through training, change. Your perspective, the lens in which you view anything, can be changed. Sometimes you move it under you own choice (intentional or not), sometimes life moves it for you. Or give you another one.
My challenge is this: take anything, anything, in your life that you feel absolutely certain on and change your perspective of it. Move the lens, adjust the focus, or get a new one altogether. See how things change and take notice of how you change in reaction to the new information. Then do it again. And keep doing it and see if you can alternate between all of these perspectives quickly and accurately. Then move on to something else, then let me know your reaction.
Learning something through an experience is an experience in itself, often because we didn't expect to learn anything as the events started to unfold. Sometimes, this learning, at an even more basic is really the just the identification of something we didn't know was there before.
The thing about experience is that it takes your preconcieved notions about anything and changes the angle by which you view it. Sometimes that means just being closer to that object or notion. I think that often we think of a change of perspective as a matter of degrees but I have found that the world, your thoughts, your biases shift significantly when you get closer to something. The details of an ideal become more visible, as if you placed an HD lens over your perspective. You notice that it's not glossy, but rough and textured. Even more importantly, you realize that it's not as solid as you once thought in your former persective, but something that can be prodded, poked, and probed.. even molded; like slightly moist clay that you need to exert significant pressure to alter. You take a moment to reassess your surroundings, gauge your reaction, then reconcile them to previous thoughts and assumptions, then move on a slightly different person.
I have many ideals that have changed the closer that I moved to them. One moment you are at a seemingly significant distance from a lifestyle (group of actions, behaviors, thoughts, value system, consequences, etc), then a conversation throws you into the center of it. Now you are experiencing it from the inside looking out. Whereas you were previously looking at it from the outside at what you thought was an solid, opaque shell; you are realizing that your assumption was wrong: it's a permeable membrane that where you can move freely.
As I get further along in my college career, I also get closer to the "real world." My chosen profession is 'change agent', the world calls it entrepreneurship. I want my job to be invovled in start-ups. To many, this lends a sense of arrogance. I know because I felt the same way last year, when I was on the outside, looking at what were my (erroneous) assumptions about the entrepreneurship lifestyle. But I have been allowed to continue getting closer, and it's not some sugar-coated shell of wealth and adventure. Sure there's adventure, but there's massive sacrifice. I have learned about personal burn rate. That there is no trade-off, no tit-for-tat on focussing on one area of your life at the expense of another. In order to do this you have to change your perspective. Because of my passion for making awesome ideas a reality, I can align my personal life (what's that?) with my "work life".
To drive the point further, I am realizing that being an entrepreneur is an "all the time thing, not a some of the time thing". For those of us who played sports and excelled at them, we know that phrase is often Vince Lombardi's mantra on winning. Excellence, a critical component of anything that amounts to anything you do in life (should you so chose), is a state of being not something you turn on and off at will. So I have found a way to make my passion be the solvent and dropped the things in my life I thought I could compartmentalize to be dissolved into a whole new solution, spinning in the beaker of my life.
For years, up until a few weeks ago, I had no idea that I would have learned the things I just described, mainly because I didn't know they existed -that they were constant elements you had to accept as you walked through that membrane. Does it sound harsh? Well it depends on your perspective... The same company looks very different if you are viewing it through a corporate or entrepreneurial lens. Even more so depending where that particular lens is positioned.
But then again so is life. I once read that you actually train yourself to be a fatalist or opportunist. Even more interesting is that you can, through training, change. Your perspective, the lens in which you view anything, can be changed. Sometimes you move it under you own choice (intentional or not), sometimes life moves it for you. Or give you another one.
My challenge is this: take anything, anything, in your life that you feel absolutely certain on and change your perspective of it. Move the lens, adjust the focus, or get a new one altogether. See how things change and take notice of how you change in reaction to the new information. Then do it again. And keep doing it and see if you can alternate between all of these perspectives quickly and accurately. Then move on to something else, then let me know your reaction.
Friday, February 5, 2010
Know Thyself
Today, I went through a Strengths Builder class at work with my manager and the rest of my team (18 people). The four hour class was centered around the results of our StrengthsFinder Test Results. For context, StrengthsFinder is a timed test that identifies your patterns of thought, behavior, knowledge and skills and groups them together into "Themes". Your Top 5 themes (out of 34), as the instructor stated today, are synonymous with breathing. What's interesting is that out of 19 people, my number #1 theme -Command- was present in anyone's Top 10 (!).
Command is so rare that the instructor was intrigued enough to discuss this theme for 20 minutes. According to her, a rare percentage of the population has it their Top 5, even fewer still have it as their Top theme. The funny thing was that everyone, even the people that I don't directly work with stated that the description was right on. So here's the description for Command:
"Command leads you to take charge. Unlike some people, you feel no discomfort with imposing your views on others. On the contrary, once your opinion is formed, you need to share it with others. Once your goal is set, you feel restless until you have aligned others with you. You are not frightened by confrontation; rather you know that confrontation is the first step to resolution. Whereas other may avoid facing up to life's unpleasantness, you feel compelled to present the facts or the truth no matter how unpleasant it may be. You need things to be clear between people and challenge them to be clear-eyed and honest. You push them to take risks. You may even intimidate them. And while some may resent this, labeling you opinionated, they often willingly hand you the reins. People are drawn to those who take a stance and ask them to move in a certain direction. Therefore, people will be drawn to you. You have prescence. You have Command."
Sound like me? Somewhere, my best friend Alex is laughing because he has seen me time and again call people out on their crap. Whether it's someone acting cocky, or fake, or arrogant, I have a knack to take a stance and call them on it. And it's usually in front of everybody too.
I don't know why I do this, because it seems that this "Strength" would be perpetually pushing people away because I'm constantly running over people. Yet, the instructor said that this is a strength often found in Generals, CEOs and heads of State.
Thankfully, my employer offers personalized Strengths-based coaching to work on developing and managing these strengths. They suggest focussing on using this to find roles and tasks where I do this well, by mentioning the a list that Gallup put together of postive perceptions regarding Command. They are as follows: "Charismatic, Driven, Easy-to-Follow, Inspirational".
But she also talked about prescence. That I have a "prescence" whereever I go. She mentioned she observed how I interacted with my team during activities and though she had never met me before the class, she knew who I was because of the results she had been given from our tests.
And if I think about it, I've always loved leading. Scout Leadership, Sports Leadership, School Group Leadership- I just naturally seem to take charge and most people don't seem to object (I think). And the bit about calling people out, I just want to be candid. I hate going through life and regularly interacting with people that are not being honest with me, others, or themselves. And this is an area that I'm most called to: I am an open book. I speak exactly how I feel. I'm completely honest about who I am and my thoughts and my earnestness with whatever I'm experiencing. I don't know how to be any other way and I can't imagine anyone else detracting from the fullest and purest experience of life by allowing any moment to go by when they aren't being clear-eyed about the truth. That's just who I am.
The point is this: learning about yourself from the perspective of others is an experience all in its own. I have often wondered how other's view me. Well I got what I wished for, and even more.. 20 minutes of 18 people including your boss discuss and point out the positive and negative perceptions of that which is closest to your hardwiring is more draining than you anticipate. But this insight along with rest of my Top 5 - Competition, Restorative (fixing things), Ideation (idea creation), Strategic- have provided solace. I find solace in the fact that even though Gallup's assessment is not the ultimate answer to Travis Corrigan's soul, I now have a better articulation of how I act spontaneously. I get to compare and contrast my perspective of myself, with the perspectives of others and work to get somewhere in the middle so that everyone (including me) is happy.
My Challenge is this: Know Thyself. I would recommend taking the StrengthsFinder test and then coming to talk to me about your strengths. We can use the materials I have from the class and start looking at how you operate. I'm sure that it will be a useful tool in understanding how to make all the difference in the lives of those around you, as well as your own.
Command is so rare that the instructor was intrigued enough to discuss this theme for 20 minutes. According to her, a rare percentage of the population has it their Top 5, even fewer still have it as their Top theme. The funny thing was that everyone, even the people that I don't directly work with stated that the description was right on. So here's the description for Command:
"Command leads you to take charge. Unlike some people, you feel no discomfort with imposing your views on others. On the contrary, once your opinion is formed, you need to share it with others. Once your goal is set, you feel restless until you have aligned others with you. You are not frightened by confrontation; rather you know that confrontation is the first step to resolution. Whereas other may avoid facing up to life's unpleasantness, you feel compelled to present the facts or the truth no matter how unpleasant it may be. You need things to be clear between people and challenge them to be clear-eyed and honest. You push them to take risks. You may even intimidate them. And while some may resent this, labeling you opinionated, they often willingly hand you the reins. People are drawn to those who take a stance and ask them to move in a certain direction. Therefore, people will be drawn to you. You have prescence. You have Command."
Sound like me? Somewhere, my best friend Alex is laughing because he has seen me time and again call people out on their crap. Whether it's someone acting cocky, or fake, or arrogant, I have a knack to take a stance and call them on it. And it's usually in front of everybody too.
I don't know why I do this, because it seems that this "Strength" would be perpetually pushing people away because I'm constantly running over people. Yet, the instructor said that this is a strength often found in Generals, CEOs and heads of State.
Thankfully, my employer offers personalized Strengths-based coaching to work on developing and managing these strengths. They suggest focussing on using this to find roles and tasks where I do this well, by mentioning the a list that Gallup put together of postive perceptions regarding Command. They are as follows: "Charismatic, Driven, Easy-to-Follow, Inspirational".
But she also talked about prescence. That I have a "prescence" whereever I go. She mentioned she observed how I interacted with my team during activities and though she had never met me before the class, she knew who I was because of the results she had been given from our tests.
And if I think about it, I've always loved leading. Scout Leadership, Sports Leadership, School Group Leadership- I just naturally seem to take charge and most people don't seem to object (I think). And the bit about calling people out, I just want to be candid. I hate going through life and regularly interacting with people that are not being honest with me, others, or themselves. And this is an area that I'm most called to: I am an open book. I speak exactly how I feel. I'm completely honest about who I am and my thoughts and my earnestness with whatever I'm experiencing. I don't know how to be any other way and I can't imagine anyone else detracting from the fullest and purest experience of life by allowing any moment to go by when they aren't being clear-eyed about the truth. That's just who I am.
The point is this: learning about yourself from the perspective of others is an experience all in its own. I have often wondered how other's view me. Well I got what I wished for, and even more.. 20 minutes of 18 people including your boss discuss and point out the positive and negative perceptions of that which is closest to your hardwiring is more draining than you anticipate. But this insight along with rest of my Top 5 - Competition, Restorative (fixing things), Ideation (idea creation), Strategic- have provided solace. I find solace in the fact that even though Gallup's assessment is not the ultimate answer to Travis Corrigan's soul, I now have a better articulation of how I act spontaneously. I get to compare and contrast my perspective of myself, with the perspectives of others and work to get somewhere in the middle so that everyone (including me) is happy.
My Challenge is this: Know Thyself. I would recommend taking the StrengthsFinder test and then coming to talk to me about your strengths. We can use the materials I have from the class and start looking at how you operate. I'm sure that it will be a useful tool in understanding how to make all the difference in the lives of those around you, as well as your own.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)