The tension is here, the tension is here
Between who you are and who you could be
Between how it is and how it should be
I dare you to move
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
I dare you to move
Like today never happened
- Switchfoot, I Dare You to Move
I've made a lot of claims in my life.
Claims about fame, fortune, power and prestige.
Claims about who I am.
Claims about who I want to be.
Claims to defame others.
Claims to defame myself.
Claims to follow through.
Claims of war.. and claims of peace.
Claims to myself about my intentions.
Claims to be _____________.
I have made many claims about things I thought I knew and many claims about things I knew nothing about.
Some claims were true, some were fake and some were embarrassingly false. But the one common denominator is that I normally don't follow through on as many claims as I make.
I'm changing that. See, it's a powerful thing when you make claims about who you want to be and what you want to do - and someone takes you seriously enough to give you a chance to live up to them.
First reaction? .. Holy &$%*!
When someone gives you the opportunity to go do what you said you were going to do and be who you said you wanted to be, the elation is quickly replaced with the reality that you are left facing the dark, heavy chasm of actually having to go do it.
I was lucky enough to be given that opportunity this summer. It wasn't exactly pleasant, but thankfully I wasn't alone. I had 24 others facing exactly the same thing and we all had to step out into the apparent abyss. It's kind of like Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade when he comes to the deep chasm with no obvious way across. Before he steps out, he must decide between risking his own life in order to follow through on his promise to save his father or turning back.
For those that have seen the movie (should be all of us, if you haven't seen the movie it's un-American), we all know that he takes a step to find footing on solid rock, disguised as an optical illusion. But I reflect on the moment that he pauses before taking that step.
It looks like certain death. He looks at his book to find some sort of clue, nothing obvious. He stares into the blackness below. There's a moment of panic, a reconsideration. Indiana hears the cries of his dying father and you see the internal struggle, the fear and yet the sense of duty to uphold his promise by taking the next step on the journey. Finally, he clutches his book tight closes his eyes and even though he's not ready and the situation isn't perfect he decides to step anyway. From the ledge of rock-solid certainty into the black unknown.
Beautiful.
Most of us have had to take that step a couple of times in our past and I know that I used to doing everything in my power to avoid those situations. Most of the time that step was taken in a time of great peril and pain.
But what about the ones that are taken for a great adventure? What about the steps that lead you to the triumph and glory you seek, ones where your dreams come true, ones that are presented when people aren't, in fact, dying?
It's an intriguing fear when you are offered a chance to have everything you want. I don't want to speak for any one else, but I was terrified when I realized that my dreams were coming true. This is due mainly because I really had no idea what I was asking for until I got it. I was just making some half-baked claims and selling them really well. And like good ol' Indy, I thought about turning back.
We all create external reasons why we shouldn't take that step; too many disappointments have jaded us to need the chains of mediocrity that have become so comfortable. Luke-warm is still warm right?
What if Indiana Jones had looked at the abyss and turned back? What if he would rather watch his father take his last breath than momentarily step into the unkown?
Nothing. Someone else would likely step up, step out, save the day and earn the glory - live the life that was meant for me.
Every compromise we make between who we are and who we could be is essentially equivalent to death. Except this time the body dies decades later.
I am in no means perfect at this, I'm just committed to upping the percentage of times that I step from the ledge of certainty - to give the unknown a shot. For every time I do, I get closer to being the person that I need to be in order to live the life that's in front of me. And every time I don't, every time I compromise (which happens more than I want it to) I keep my relationship with all of you from really living because I'm offering a Travis Corrigan knock-off, not the real thing.
Do what you should to do, be who you could be. Or not. You have nothing to lose.
Really.
